A New Kind of Recovery

It has been a week I don't care to relive. I cannot count how many minutes I've been on "hold" this week and I am still not finished.

With all the inconveniences of having to cancel all financial ties, getting new licences, new keys, new locks, a new phone.... it all adds up to stress. Add to the top of that not being able to sleep.

If you have ever been in a situation where you cannot sleep, you know what I mean. For 5 straight nights I could not sleep. Every sound I heard had my eyes wide open, trying to figure out what had made the sound.

Wednesday night was the worst. At about midnight a car alarm went off. Animals fighting, dogs barking off in the distance, my son on the floor in a sleeping bag rustling the nylon, my husband snoring. The other nights were the same, but I think the car alarm going off had me set that there was another prowler in the area and he was going to break into my house through a window.

I say window, because we had already taken every other precaution we could in the house for the doors and garage.

I was a walking zombie all week. I changed my lesson plans and showed "National Treasure" as we had just began discussing the Declaration of Independence and the Revolutionary War. It is our state's major testing week too, so I had the students list every historical detail they could from the movie, as there are tons. This plan gave the students something relevant, historical, easy, and entertaining during this "must pass for graduation" test time. And more importantly, it gave me time to just recover and not feel like I was going to snap at any wrong doing a student might perform. They were happy with the film and so was I.

On Monday I had to register my daughter for kindergarten. We had forgotten to get the packet of forms to fill out earlier and so, I had to get it Monday afternoon. So, I spent what I needed to have as relaxation time, filling out forms and trying to dig out birth certificates and shot records. When I got it all done after an hour, I headed over to the school. My husband took the kid to the grocery store. After waiting for 45 minutes, I got to the nurse line and was told my daughter could not register without her 5 year old shots, she is 4 and will be 5 in June. Luckily, the nurse is a friend from church, so I didn't lose it there in the gym of the elementary school, but in the car in the parking lot. One more thing in an already horrible few days.

The bright spot in my daughter having to go in to see the doctor, was that when my husband took her Thursday morning, the doctor gave him a prescription for both of us to help us sleep.
Xanax. An anti-anxiety and panic attack wonder drug to help you sleep.

Finally, finally, finally I could sleep. I still wake up at noises, but the difference is I can fall back to sleep and feel somewhat rested in the morning. I took Friday off and had my husband do the same. I needed to sleep and knew I wouldn't be able to without him there. We took our kids to their usual daycare and were back asleep by 7:10am and we both slept until 1pm when my husband had to get ready to coach a baseball game. I felt much better. My entire body hurt. My shoulders and shoulder blades ached less after getting some sleep. I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Running this week looked like this:

Monday: rest from Sunday's 19.4 miler
Tuesday: too exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically to run
Wednesday: 3 miles
Thursday: again, rested after a sleepless night
Friday: Sleep, sleep and more sleep
Saturday: 8.5 miles
Sunday: 5 miles

Not as much as I'd like, but I had more stuff to deal with this week than usual. I'll run shorter distances this week with a 20 mile race coming up on Saturday. The last in the Fort Steilacoom Running Club's Resolution series. I should place in my age group for the series as I've been in the top three in the two races I've already completed. I guess my goal is to be under 3:10, but who know with the way my lack of sleep has been. I'll just be happy to finish and do my best for that particular day.

I know one lesson from this week has been patience. Sometimes (most of the time) this lesson is taught in a manner that is not fun to experience, yet is incredibly valuable. Also, the value of friendship. The Y run club has been sincerely supportive so many ways. From a cup of coffee and hugs, to listening ears and offers of support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement and advice. I love you all. I may have experienced a loss of security in my home, but not in terms of friendship. That I gained.

I have held onto many verses this week, a couple of them follow: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore do not lose heart. Though inwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. And Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And lastly, 2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.

Maybe these words can be a comfort for you too.

Thanks you for being there for me this week. Continue to remember us.

Grace and Peace to you.