Sunday, January 11, 2009

Light and Darkness

Bridle Trails was run in both the light and the dark. Both had their challenges. Light brought more speed and the dark, well, rain, water and mud of all degrees of sloppiness.


First I'll say that I fully intended on running a 50k, but somewhere along the third of the 6 loops I managed to just barely step onto a root or rock. I didn't put all my weight on it at all, but I felt my left knee wibble wobble just a bit. I even said out loud, "woa, that coulda been bad." I kept going, along with Steve and Rob, having a grand time sloshing through the dark and wet mud.

By the time we completed the 3rd loop and 15 miles it was pretty messy. We headed out and I could begin to feel my knee tighten up. No pain, but I would have to really be careful as I put my feet down. As we progressed and the trail progressed in sloppiness, I realized that I could be in for real trouble if I landed wrong or slipped the wrong way just once and twisted my knee I'd be done and out for a while. So while I still felt good and strong I decided I should be done at the end of the loop with 20 miles of wetness, darkness and muddiness. It was hard to stop when I still felt like I could keep running, but I chose to look ahead....to next week and another round of sloppiness at Capital Peak, and even further to Cascade Crest. So I knew it was a good choice.


On to the light and darkness of the run. As I said earlier, the light brought more speed. Rob and I had a fairly fast first loop, got caught up in the pack. 49 minutes. Not super fast, but fast when you saw the conditions and knew you had to keep going for 25 more miles and conditions were sure to change. In the light I could also see very well. I could see where to jump to and how to maneuver and get around the stumps and roots. I could run behind Rob or another runner and track well. You could see where the trail went and knew you were in the right place.



By the 3rd loop it was pitch black, raining and super puddley and muddy. I had two lights. One on my head and one around my waist. Now the fact that it was dark didn't bother me. I wasn't scared or anything. It was just plain hard to see. I figured out that I had to be several steps behind Rob or Steve or else my lights shone on their feet and I would focus on their feet instead of the terrain and where to place my feet. I had to concentrate very hard on myself. I had to get into a zone. It was interesting, but being in the dark like that and focusing on my light I felt out of my body. I was aware that I was moving but it was like my brain and my feet and the light. Nothing else. If I glanced at the runner ahead or at an ambient light in the distance I would stumble. It was about that intense focus on the light in front of me at my feet and following only it, no diversions. I was totally dependant on that light. I couldn't succeed without it.
Today as I thought more and more about last night and as I sat in church and listened to the pastor talk about the "light (Christ)" I put some things together. As a Christian I have always tried to "shine like a light in the darkness." But last night I had to follow the light and be super focused on the light or I could be in trouble. I had to be totally dependant on that light. I think that goes for the life of Christian as well. Be focused and follow the light and be the light for others or you could find yourself in a bunch of trouble. A favorite song of mine came to mind as I was pondering today:

"Let It Be Me" by the Indigo Girls

Sticks and stones battle zones a single light bulb on a single thread for the black sirens wail history fails rose-colored glass begins to age and crack while the politicians shadowbox the power ring in an endless split decision never solve anything from a neighbor's distant land i heard the strain of the common man

let it be me (this is not a fighting song) let it be me (not a wrong for a wrong) let it be me, if the world is night, shine my life like a light

well the world seems spent and the president has no good idea of who the masses are well I'm one of them and I'm among friends trying to see beyond the fences of our own backyard I've seen kingdoms blow like ashes in the winds of change but the power of truth is the fuel for the flame so the darker the ages get there's a stronger beacon yet

let it be me (this is not a fighting song) let it be me (not a wrong for a wrong) let it be me, if the world is night shine my life like a light

in the kind word you speak in the turn of the cheek when your vision stays clear in the face of your fear then you see turning off a light switch is their only power when we stand like spotlights in a mighty tower all for one and one for all then we sing the common call

let it be me (this is not a fighting song) let it be me (not a wrong for a wrong) let it be me, if the world is night shine my life like a light.


I love this song. "Let it be me, If the world is night, shine my life like a light." Sorry I coulnd't get it to write in stanzas. It keeps jumbling up into paragraphs making it hard to read.

So, running in the mud and darkness have their lessons too. It was a great run and a good time. I struggled to stay warm for a while afterwards, but warmed up by staying in the bathrooms while I waited for everyone to finish their 6 loops. I know now how to focus in the dark, a skill I look forward to applying!

Grace and peace to you...and a little light.

17 comments:

Backofpack said...

A lovely post Jenny. It is quite amazing when something comes together like that, a lesson learned in the running. Congrats on making a good decision, and on finding that lesson.

Journey to a Centum said...

Jenny - you were a light! You had every reason to be bummed out and down but you kept it positive!

Get that knee brace out! Here we go to Capitol Peak! Woo Hoo!

Laura H said...

Nice post - and good to see you out there. That night running is great practice for CCC! Smart decision to drop and listen to your knee - you'll need it for the training to come! Have fun next week at Capitol Peak - that's where we met last year - remember the mud??

Steve S said...

Thanks for sharing the run and a greater lesson. You have lots of days and many runs to get ready for CCC. This twenty was more than enough for this week.
Cap Peak in the light will be nice.

Unknown said...

You made the right decision. My initial thought was to try and talk you out of going to Capitol Peak as well, but I didn't, or maybe I am now. You have a lot of training and time in front of you. Best to stay healthy and give your body time to recover.

Jenny, Maniac #401 said...

Thanks guys for the support. I intend to wear the "bionic knee" and call it quits at the half ass mark if needed!
Jenny

wendy said...

You are so strong, Jenny!

What a wonderful spirit you have, and you always manage to share!

I'm sorry about the knee, but it sounds like it won't impede your training too badly, so that's good news. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Dr.Rutledge said...

Hi Jenny,

I'm an academic physician (formerly at Harvard and Stanford) who found your blog while looking for the best health writers. I think your writing is great! I would like to feature you in the Running Community on Wellsphere, a top 10 health website that has well over 2 million visitors monthly.

If you would like to learn more, just drop me an email to Dr.Rutledge@wellsphere.com

Joe said...

Great post, Jenny. The image of light is a powerful and universal one, which is, I'm sure, why Christ used it, even calling himself the "light of the world".

Isn't it cool when two disparate things come together?? Thanks for capturing it so well.

Wow...hope you knee is not really damaged. Good for you to listen to it and make the decision you did.

Darrell said...

At first when I was thinking about your focus on the light and the trail I was thinking about how stressful the situation was. It is tiring to stay that focused for that long.

Then you analogy to following Christ hit me square up side the head. Following his light can tough at times as well but in the end the reward is beyond compare. I need to improve my focus on the Light.

Anonymous said...

usemcoomi, http://www.purevolume.com/listeners/NakedGirlfriends, Addedejet, http://www.purevolume.com/listeners/PfizerViagraWithoutAPrescription, weancient, http://www.purevolume.com/listeners/OrderViagraWithoutPrescription, goostussy, Naked Girlfriends, Letetwensioth, Pfizer Viagra Without A Prescription, NitoActiony, Order Viagra Without Prescription, veitiowderi,

Anonymous said...

MorsArolley, http://www.newgrist.com/profiles/blogs/acai-berry-weight-loss, arrivyattindy, acai berry diet, Chewwhink,

Anonymous said...

phesofferve, http://valium001.socialgo.com/members/profile/1/blog-view/1valium, affovapeZenda, valium, Smevonnamnpax

Anonymous said...

http://www.oyeme.com/profiles/blogs/buy-valium-online, sweepeempinna, valium, MamWitemfrirm

Anonymous said...

Codoexceelo, byu xanax online, GomReafehem, soma, Pronrorblex, byu valium online, Impaighimpuch, phentermine online, Agintestbit

Anonymous said...

kiputeriarell, cheapest tramadol, Arorbvierne, cheap tramadol, skidorrompomb, order tramadol nex day delivery, Weizowdellalo, byu tramadol online, cofknossese, tramadol online no prescription, vaffolapselay

Anonymous said...

Those who possession of to the standard faiths demand that the control of their obedience rests on leak, and that pronouncement is given in the pages of books and accounts of miracles and wonders whose complexion is supernatural. But those of us who have protracted discarded the assent in the mysterious unruffled are in the presence of revelations which are the foundation of faith. We too have our revealed religion. We procure looked upon the clock of men and women that can be to us the symbols of that which is holy. We have heard words of sacred wisdom and truth viva voce in the human voice. In sight of the domain there experience hit to us these participation which, when accepted, donate to us revelations, not of supernatural religion, but of a natural and assured fidelity in the holy powers that spark and stay in the center of [a mortal physically's] being.