A Celebration of Life

The last week has been a whirlwind. I returned from the R2P relay on Sunday afternoon and Monday morning was ready for a week of volunteering at our church's Vacation Bible School.
On Wednesday morning, my Grandmother passed away. She was 89 years old and had Parkinson's.

My Dad called from Portland at 7:40am. He was having a very difficult time and so my Mom had to get on the phone. He managed to tell me that Grandma (his mother) had passed away. She passed away at 6:30am Pacific time. We knew it was coming, but it is still a shock.
I was thankful to being headed to church. When my first volunteer duties were over, I found a quiet place to reflect. I had just finished leading songs and felt some of the lyrics to be exactly what I needed. "Praise to the Lord, my God and King, His love endures forever. For He is good, he is above all things, His love endures forever. Forever He is faithful, Forever He is Strong, Forever He is with us, Forever, Forever."

Forever He is with us, Forever He is strong. These words are so encouraging. As a Christian, God is forever with me, strong, no matter the circumstance. He is able to provide enough grace to cover me, no matter the situation.

My Dad called again, later in the day with all of the plans he and my uncle had made so far. My parents live outside of Portland, OR. My Uncle lives outside of Houston, TX. and my grandparents live in McKenzie, Tennessee, 2 hours from either Memphis or Nashville.
I went upstairs and spent nearly 3.5 hours trying to find cheap flights, car rental, hotel and childcare for the kids. I was able to find very reasonable priced tickets without using a bereavement fare.

So, my husband and I were to fly out at 10:00pm Friday from Seattle and arrive in Memphis, with one stop in Detroit, by 7:30am Saturday. When we arrived at the airport, the leg from Detroit to Memphis had been cancelled. The new route was unacceptable as it put us into Memphis at 12:45pm. Not good with a 2 hour drive from there and the first family visitation beginning at 3pm. So I had the airline worker search for alternatives. After several tries, we agreed to a later flight and arriving in Memphis at 8:45am. At least they were nice enough to provide us with first class seats from Minneapolis to Memphis.
Once in Memphis, we met my brother who had left Seattle earlier on Friday and had spent the night in Memphis, at the car rental place and we were off to find a bookstore. My husband and I were not going to miss out on purchasing our Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on the day it came out. My brother also wanted a copy. I had found a close by bookstore online before we left and printed out the directions.

After purchasing a copy of both the hardback and audio books, we were off to McKenzie. My brother followed along in his car and we made the trek while listening to Harry Potter.
Upon arrival at the retirement home in which my grandparents live, we met up with my cousins that Paul and I had just visited on our trip to Houston two weeks ago. It was good to see them again, we just had wished it was different circumstances. After a while, Paul and I went to our hotel to shower and change for the first Visitation. Oh, but not after my Dad came in with some of the BEST Tennessee pulled pork BBQ you have ever eaten. My family has always known how to eat and this was always a tradition when family gets together in McKenzie.
When we arrived at the funeral home for the visitation, I did not know if my grandfather, who is 94, had decided to have an open casket. They did for family only. I did not want to remember my grandmother that way and chose to enter a while after family members had entered. When I did enter, the casket was still open, but the angle was such that Grandma just looked peaceful. I sat with my parents and brothers and we talked about how peaceful she looked and how she was no longer trapped inside a body that did not allow her to be who she truly longed to be. Then the funeral director played a slide show of photos my Dad and Uncle had put together of Grandma and Grandpa.

My emotions really came to the surface here. As I saw many photographs I had never before seen. Photos of my grandma as a little girl, at school and getting married at her home. My grandparents celebrated their 67th wedding anniversary on June 16th this year. Wow.
Later, after the casket was closed and many other extended family members and friends came to visit with my grandpa and the rest of the family I took time to look at the many scrapbooks and items my Dad and Uncle had gathered for people to remember Grandma by. My brothers and cousins were able to remember so many wonderful summers spent in McKenzie at our grandparents' home. In the kitchen helping grandma snap beans, bake a cake, or eat until we were stuffed. Outside with grandpa digging up potatoes or peanuts( goobers as grandpa always called them) Sticking black eyed peas through Grandpa's homemade sheller, riding the lawnmower, swinging on the big swing or porch swings that hung from the huge grand old oak tree in the front yard or just catching lightning bugs in the evening. It was always a marvelous and wondrous time at grandma and grandpa's house. There was always an adventure.
I also took the opportunity to sit with grandpa near the casket as he greeted people who had come to the visitation.

Between visitors, I was able to talk with grandpa and let him know the many things that I had learned from he and grandma over the years. I let him know that it was from them that I learned to appreciate family and to let them know how much they mean to you. That i need to express my gratitude to my family. I learned from my grandparents what a Christian marriage looks like and how to be selfless in that marriage. I let my grandpa know that he and grandma were a shining example that my parents were able to follow and that I hope to be able to follow in my marriage also. I told him that He and grandma were my mentors when it came to being unselfish and compassionate, in helping others and perservering. I let him know that the lessons he and grandma conveyed in every letter or email they ever sent(which I have always kept every piece of correspondence) was to go to church and be an active member and participant in Christian life and the life of the church which they too were amazing examples, to work hard in everything you do, to always give 100%. I let him know that his life was a testament to this... having lived through the depression and hard other hard economic times you had to earn everything. My grandparents definitely ingrained this value into their children and grandchildren. I told him he taught me to save money and to spend wisely. He and grandma always expressed how important education was( they too, were both teachers) and how valuable of a tool it truly is. They always expressed to us in letters and i person, how important Christian spouses are and how happy they have been that all their married grandchildren have been so good to find such "fine spouses."

As i sat there with my Grandpa, I t was hard to tell him everything I wanted to. Hard to express all of the things that he and Grandma had given to me and the rest of my family and the gratitude I have for them. I didn't know if I was going to be able to speak at the funeral as my Dad had wished. If I didn't, I knew I had already said the things I could to my Grandpa.
The next day, Sunday, would be a whole new challenge. All the grandkids were to be pall bearers. I have never done that before and didn't know if I could manage it emotionally. I did, but it was hard. I was able to speak and say some of the things I mentioned here. I spoke first and it took me a while. I was very choked up and emotional. I cried and was probably hard to understand. But I said the most important things I had learned from my Grandma. My brother and cousins also spoke of the things they learned or most cherished about our grandma.

I think my Uncle summed it up best at the end of the service when he said that his mom, my grandma, was not in that box anymore. That was just a used up body, a bunch of bones that she wanted out of anyway. Ernestine, wife, mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, and friend was with her savior Jesus Christ, free of her illness and laughing and that she had chosen that she would spend eternity in heaven as a small child. She lived her life waiting on God, following Christ's example, going where He led, sharing His love and compassion, teaching others and mentoring others to do the same. My Uncle concluded with,"and there is nothing more she would want than to see you there with her someday."

It was a beautiful celebration of my Grandmother's life and the legacy she provided for her family and community, for anyone she met. I hope something of her here has touched you too.

Grace and peace to you.