Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The week so far.....

Well, this week too has flown by.

On Monday the count had begun for how many more times I had to wake up at O'dark thirty before spring break arrived. I am now down to two.

I slept in on Sunday a bit too much and didn't make it to church, for the church service, but did manage to get to church for Sunday school after dillydallying around the house.

We are doing a study on David. David has always fascinated me. "The man after God's own heart." It's hard to know what that means, or even what that looks like. David was a forgotten son, left behind to take over the family jobs no one else would do. He was chosen and anointed by God to become a King. He was a loyal servant of a brutal king. David endured circumstances with a heart and attitude that was of pure respect, (not necessarily for the King he served but for the position of King). Essentially this king was jealous of David and tried to kill him. He chased him all over, hunted him down and wanted him dead. It's quite the soap opera if you really get into it.

My point is that David really was a forgiving person and truly wanted to serve God and fulfill what God had planned and prepared for him. He was not revengeful as he could have been. He served the king that he would soon replace with a faithful and loyal heart all the while the king was trying to kill him. David sought God's will and earnestly followed. He prayed for his enemies.

I've tried to be like David lately. After the robbery, as you may know, I have had difficulty sleeping. One night last week, I just began to pray for the people who broke into my house. I prayed that somehow they would come to know that what they had done was wrong. I realize I will never know if this happens, but God will. I pray that the hearts of those people will be forever changed and that they will turn their lives around. And that I would not feel revengeful, fearful and anger.

I don't need my stuff back. I need these people to become different people and positively effect their world instead of harm it. That is my prayer for them. It has helped me let go. It has helped me sleep. It has helped me to know that I am not the one who needs to be in control. I've done my part of taking care of alarms and lights and locks and let it go. I can take a deeper breathe and feel the anxiety on it's way out of my life.

On to running....

What running? I took Sunday off and Monday, my usual day off. I ran at the Y for 45 minutes. I didn't keep track of distance...sometimes it is so nice not to count laps or keep track. Essentially I just wanted to get the kinks out from Saturday. It felt really good.

Today, my left hip was a bit tight. I decided to play it by how I felt after school. After being on my feet all day, I decided a rest day would be okay. I plan to run short runs Thursday and Friday afternoon and run longer on Saturday with some Y folks who are also training for upcoming events.

Grace and peace to you.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Run Update

Well, just a quick update before heading off to bed. My family has been on the computer all day!

Today was the last race in a progressive series. The 20 miler. I has set out to finish in 3:10 or under and was very happy to come in at 2:57.

I took first place in my age group (30-34) for the race and for the series. SO that was kinda cool.

The weather was plain rainy. Very rainy. My hands were all pruny when I finished and I had to wring out my clothes! It was too warm for a waterproof jacket at 55 degrees.

All in all it was a good race. I ran hard and was tired when I finished. I like to feel like I worked hard.

Maybe I'll give a full report this week. Off to slumberland!

Grace and peace to you.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Call Me Tapered

Well, it's been one of those weeks that seem to blur right on by.

I have been incredibly busy with school, kids and dealing with the aftermath of being robbed that I have hardly had time to run.

Monday: I had to take a half day off to meet the Brink's people between 12-2pm. They arrived at 2:30pm. They finished installing our new security system at 7pm. Then it was time to get the kids off to bed.

Tuesday: I felt incredibly sick this day. I looked forward all day to running in the afternoon, and when I got home I felt horrible. It was one of those kind that I couldn't quite tell if running could help or hurt, so I put cartoons on for the kids and curled up in my bed. I felt better at, you guessed it, bedtime.

Wednesday: Finally, I got to run. granted it was indoors on the track at the Y, but it was probably the best 5 miles ever on that track. If it were not for the time issue and ya know, feeding the kids, homework, etc... I'd have kept right on running for at least 5 more miles.

Thursday: My son has basketball practice, takes up all the time. If I didn't have to take my daughter with me, due to Dad having baseball practice, I'd run through the neighborhoods while he's practicing. Oh well.

And Friday: Well, I guess I didn't run today, because I'm running a 20 mile race tomorrow. Oh and it is raining cats and dogs. Which it will be tomorrow too. So not a very good excuse.

So the race will be what it will be. I would still like to finish in 3:10 or less, but 3:30 would be okay too.

I plan to try out my new Verizon "Chocolate" cell phone that I got when mine was stolen. I splurged in replacing the old phone. I figured I deserved a treat. I wanted to make myself feel better. Cause it pretty much sucked at that point. I downloaded some tunes and I think I'm ready to go! I was planning to run with Rick, but he thinks he's too slow and wants to start an hour early so he can finish at the same time as everyone else. I think my friend Rick will surprise himself and we'll have close times.

My life is settling back down and I am feeling better. Motion detectors in your house can help that you know. Also a half a little blue pill called Xanax. I am still having trouble sleeping, but it is increasingly getting better. I am okay being home alone and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. The whole insurance thing SUCKS!!! What do those people DO anyway? They kept asking "did I help you in what you needed? I answered emphatically, "No!"
Anyway, that's enough complaining. I have all the important stuff and that's what I need.

I can't wait to run in the morning.

Grace and peace to you.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

A New Kind of Recovery

It has been a week I don't care to relive. I cannot count how many minutes I've been on "hold" this week and I am still not finished.

With all the inconveniences of having to cancel all financial ties, getting new licences, new keys, new locks, a new phone.... it all adds up to stress. Add to the top of that not being able to sleep.

If you have ever been in a situation where you cannot sleep, you know what I mean. For 5 straight nights I could not sleep. Every sound I heard had my eyes wide open, trying to figure out what had made the sound.

Wednesday night was the worst. At about midnight a car alarm went off. Animals fighting, dogs barking off in the distance, my son on the floor in a sleeping bag rustling the nylon, my husband snoring. The other nights were the same, but I think the car alarm going off had me set that there was another prowler in the area and he was going to break into my house through a window.

I say window, because we had already taken every other precaution we could in the house for the doors and garage.

I was a walking zombie all week. I changed my lesson plans and showed "National Treasure" as we had just began discussing the Declaration of Independence and the Revolutionary War. It is our state's major testing week too, so I had the students list every historical detail they could from the movie, as there are tons. This plan gave the students something relevant, historical, easy, and entertaining during this "must pass for graduation" test time. And more importantly, it gave me time to just recover and not feel like I was going to snap at any wrong doing a student might perform. They were happy with the film and so was I.

On Monday I had to register my daughter for kindergarten. We had forgotten to get the packet of forms to fill out earlier and so, I had to get it Monday afternoon. So, I spent what I needed to have as relaxation time, filling out forms and trying to dig out birth certificates and shot records. When I got it all done after an hour, I headed over to the school. My husband took the kid to the grocery store. After waiting for 45 minutes, I got to the nurse line and was told my daughter could not register without her 5 year old shots, she is 4 and will be 5 in June. Luckily, the nurse is a friend from church, so I didn't lose it there in the gym of the elementary school, but in the car in the parking lot. One more thing in an already horrible few days.

The bright spot in my daughter having to go in to see the doctor, was that when my husband took her Thursday morning, the doctor gave him a prescription for both of us to help us sleep.
Xanax. An anti-anxiety and panic attack wonder drug to help you sleep.

Finally, finally, finally I could sleep. I still wake up at noises, but the difference is I can fall back to sleep and feel somewhat rested in the morning. I took Friday off and had my husband do the same. I needed to sleep and knew I wouldn't be able to without him there. We took our kids to their usual daycare and were back asleep by 7:10am and we both slept until 1pm when my husband had to get ready to coach a baseball game. I felt much better. My entire body hurt. My shoulders and shoulder blades ached less after getting some sleep. I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Running this week looked like this:

Monday: rest from Sunday's 19.4 miler
Tuesday: too exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically to run
Wednesday: 3 miles
Thursday: again, rested after a sleepless night
Friday: Sleep, sleep and more sleep
Saturday: 8.5 miles
Sunday: 5 miles

Not as much as I'd like, but I had more stuff to deal with this week than usual. I'll run shorter distances this week with a 20 mile race coming up on Saturday. The last in the Fort Steilacoom Running Club's Resolution series. I should place in my age group for the series as I've been in the top three in the two races I've already completed. I guess my goal is to be under 3:10, but who know with the way my lack of sleep has been. I'll just be happy to finish and do my best for that particular day.

I know one lesson from this week has been patience. Sometimes (most of the time) this lesson is taught in a manner that is not fun to experience, yet is incredibly valuable. Also, the value of friendship. The Y run club has been sincerely supportive so many ways. From a cup of coffee and hugs, to listening ears and offers of support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement and advice. I love you all. I may have experienced a loss of security in my home, but not in terms of friendship. That I gained.

I have held onto many verses this week, a couple of them follow: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore do not lose heart. Though inwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. And Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And lastly, 2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.

Maybe these words can be a comfort for you too.

Thanks you for being there for me this week. Continue to remember us.

Grace and Peace to you.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

My World has been Rocked

I usually sleep with earplugs, to help drown out my husbands snoring and other noises. I usually pull them out sometime in the early hours of the morning to wake to my alarm.

This morning however, I pulled one out at around 3am because it was bothering my ear. Just a few short minutes later I heard some noise. I thought it was the wind pushing the big swing on my deck, then I heard other movement downstairs like the cabinet door closing and footsteps on my deck. I got up to look outside and couldn't really see much. So I went outside my room to the landing area at the top of the stairs to listen. I didn't really hear anything, but turned and saw someone coming up the stairs. They were dressed completely in black from head to toe. I yelled "What are you doing, get out of my house." They turned and ran out. My husband woke up during this and I yelled "There's someone in the house!" He ran down and out the back door that was wide open.

My 7 year old son woke up too. I was standing outside his door as I was yelling. I went downstairs to find a door to a little cabinet where I keep cookbooks and bowls open and my wallet open and on the floor.

I called the police. It took them about 7 or 8 minutes, or so it seemed, for them to get here. They brought the canine unit. There were three patrol cars. They searched the back yard and tried to pick up a scent. It ended across the street from my house where their getaway car was parked.

I sat on the couch with my husband and son while they did their investigation/search. My insides were all tied up and adrenaline pumped through my body. My husband kept apologizing. My son was upset too. I am thankful my daughter slept through it. We've tried not to let her know.

I think all that is gone is my driver's license, debit and credit cards, a lot of cash that I was going to put in my check book to pay for a couple of marathons I recently registered for. My cell phone, both sets of keys to our truck(with house keys) and my digital camera. Just stuff. Oh, and my sense of security. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I didn't go back to sleep this morning.

I'm waiting for the locksmith to come and change our locks and reset the car locks and give us new keys.

I don't understand the mindset of a person who would choose a home with two cars parked out front, go around the back and see children's play things, come inside rummage around downstairs and then have the nerve to come upstairs where it was obvious that people were home, where precious children were sleeping.

A very arrogant person. A cold-hearted person. A person who is lacking love in their life, that they have to steal from others.

I am very shaken up. I know that what is most valuable is safe. I can replace the other things and be inconvenienced for a while. I hope I can regain a sense of security and trust in people I don't know.

I know that God was protecting me and that I have some lessons to learn from this that will make me a better, stronger person. I know this won't happen overnight. I know I have a process to go through. It may take a while. I was jumpy still later on while making toast for my daughter. I jumped a mile when the toaster popped up. I heard something on TV and thought someone was jiggling my front doorknob.

I've been a passenger in enough serious car accidents to know that traumatizing events take time and talking to get over. Here is my start.

I was comforted some when after my run this morning, my crime scene investigator friend came over just to check and see if things were secure. He gave my husband some pointers about how to reinforce the locks on our french doors.

I've made all the cancellation calls and scheduled the locks to be changed. What is in my control is done. The rest is out of my control and I've given it up through prayer. Keep my family and I in your thoughts and prayers as we try to make sense and recover from this senseless action.

Grace and peace to you.
And, hug and kiss your kids, and lock up tight.

I'm pretty ti

Sunday, March 4, 2007

A Long and Tired Week

It's been a long week.

After the 15 miler last Saturday, I felt great. On Sunday I went to an hour spin class that was a pretty tough session. I just love those spin classes. I took Monday off as usual for a rest day.

Then it hit. I don't really know what it was but it sucked every ounce of energy I had right out. By Wednesday I could barely get out of bed. I just dragged at school. I wanted to sleep during my lunch and planning period. It was all I could do to pick up the kids and get them settled at home and then try and make something for dinner. Running or a workout of any kind was last on the list.

I decided to take a sick day on Thursday. Besides being so tired, I was feeling like I was trying to pick up a head cold. My kids have both had it the last couple of weeks. After dropping my son off, I cam e back and went to bed for another hour until 8:00am when registration for the Nike Women's marathon opened up.

I guess that was a perk of staying home that particular day. It took 15 minutes to get onto the site and then once I got on, another 45 minutes to complete the registration process. I was excited about that. So far, there are 10 women from out Y club that will be making a trip to San Francisco in October for this full or half marathon. I registered for the full. It's pretty cool that the theme for this year's event is "Run Together," fits our group well.

After registering, I went back to sleep for about another hour and a half. I couldn't keep from doing any work that day. Progress reports were due and luckily I could do them online. So I got my grades completed and sent in and then went back to bed where I graded tests on American Colonial Society that I had given my students the day before.

Before it was time to go pick up my kids, I rested a bit more and decided that my kids needed some time at the Y. They love to go there and play in the nursery, or "big kids" room. I hadn't taken them all week due to my fatigue. Even though I stayed home that day, I decided to give walking around the track a try and the recumbent bike a whirl. I walked for a while and decided I 'd run a few laps. I made it a half mile before I stopped. Way too tired. I walked a total of 1 1/2 miles before I went to the bike for about 20 minutes. I was glad to be moving, but I really felt horrible. Just very tired.

Friday was better. I guess the rest really did help. I felt better during the day and went to sleep fairly early that night. I knew I wanted to run easy on Saturday, just because I barley ran all week.

It was a small group that met at the Y on Saturday. It seems we have had huge groups lately. We all ran together for about a mile and a half before a couple of the guys went of to run hills, then a couple of the ladies decided to run through the park. There were four of us left and Michelle took us off on a run to avoid hills. We still had a couple that we couldn't avoid. That was okay.

I felt bad for a while on this run, my legs were tight. By the end I felt pretty good and was happy with our slow and easy 5.7 miles.

Today I was feeling good all around. Still a bit sleepy feeling, but not the fatigue that I felt the last few days. After church I ran an 8.5 mile hill loop near my house. It was great. It was Rather warm out, about 47 degrees, and once I started running, I wished I went for short sleeves instead of long. I felt great in shorts and has glad I didn't grab gloves.

Spring is popping up all over around here. Seems the crocuses are tired of the snow too. trees are beginning to show signs of wanting to bloom and the birds are singing everywhere you turn. The run was beautiful. I wanted to go on forever. I was feeling so good. It felt nice not to be so tired. I am hoping that this week will go well and I 'll feel increasingly better each day.

I am looking forward to the 20 mile training run set for next Sunday. I'll have to miss church and find someone to work in the nursery for me, but that's okay every once in a while. I'll also miss the second day of our new class on David, but I have the material for next week. It's on David and Goliath. I am looking forward to studying this story this week. It seems like it has been forever since I've visited this particular event.

I am hoping to get in a spin class on Monday, run on Tuesday, Wednesday, and maybe Friday. I have conferences at school on Thursday so nada on that day.

Oh, my father in law goes in for surgery tomorrow. He has cancer of the esophagus. They will be removing most of the esophagus and moving his stomach up. How all this works I do not really know. We do know that the cancer was caught early and that he has a good prognosis that others do not have when the cancer is in later stages. He'll be in the hospital for a while and eat with a tube for a few more weeks. We are praying for a complete removal, a fast recovery, that he does not lose too much weight, and that my mother in law will ask for help when she needs it! They can be stubborn and not like to let others know when they need help. We don't want my mother in law to get to overwhelmed when there are so many people who would be happy to help. Keep them in your prayers too!

Grace and Peace to you.